1 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,136 [Insects trilling] 2 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,847 [Wheezing softly] 3 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,559 It won't be long now. 4 00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:20,020 At least she's comfortable. 5 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,940 - There's definitely worse ways to go. - Mm, amen. 6 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,608 [Indistinct chatter] 7 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,193 Dysentery was no party. 8 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,362 Shh, I think it is happening. 9 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,781 Ah. I should sing something to ease her transition. 10 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,425 Or perhaps don't make this all about you. 11 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:36,453 J“ amazing grace j“ 12 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:40,958 j“ how sweet the sound j“ 13 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:46,797 who are you? 14 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,133 I am the ghost of your great-great—grandmother, 15 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,677 Hetty woodstone. 16 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,262 Hi, I'm flower. 17 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:56,557 I wandered over to your property from a music festival in the '605, 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,976 and then I tried to befriend a bear. 19 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,394 Drugs were involved. 20 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:04,064 I am thorfinn. Uh... 21 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,566 I like herring... 22 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,526 She doesn't need the whole roster. 23 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,486 We are ghosts. 24 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,030 While most spirits pass on to the afterlife, 25 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:16,118 we are the unfortunate few cursed to spend eternity... 26 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,804 - Oh, and she's gone. - [Disappointed groans] 27 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,580 -Oh, good for her. —so unfair. 28 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,665 She goes up, we stay here. 29 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,917 In Odin's name, why? 30 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,419 Yeah, it's a real drag. 31 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:26,896 Now what's going to happen to the house? 32 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,839 This house was my pride and joy. 33 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,966 Now it could get sold to god knows who. 34 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,926 Murderers. Perverts. 35 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,720 Irishmen. 36 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,722 Well, there's no use milling about up here. 37 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,348 Shall we go mill about downstairs? 38 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,891 - May as well. - Yeah, sure. 39 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,519 I just hope someone interesting moves in, ya know? 40 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,730 Like a ballplayer, or an astronaut. 41 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,940 Whose life are you guys hoping to watch next? 42 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,984 - [Thorfinn] Oy. - [Hetty] Oh, be quiet. 43 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,545 [Samantha] Oh, my god, this is the house? 44 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,988 Whoa, so... so we just own this now? 45 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,173 - What's the catch? - No, no. 46 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,384 There's no catch. As I explained to your wife on the phone, 47 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,368 her relative passed away and left her this estate. 48 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,263 Great-aunt Sophie. I think I met her when I was a kid, 49 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,581 but I-I thought she died years ago. 50 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,309 No, no, she just passed. But the good news is, 51 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,334 you're her next of kin. 52 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,627 Didn't she have a son? 53 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,962 Well, more good news, he actually did die years ago. 54 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:11,632 - Oh, okay. - Oh, yeah, that's not, um... 55 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,568 How much do you think we could sell this place for? 56 00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,052 Assuming we want to sell. 57 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,888 Uh, yeah, we're not moving into a 300-year-old house 58 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,016 in the middle of nowhere, because that would be... 59 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,726 Right, Sam? 60 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,454 Well, it's just we don't know the facts yet. 61 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,813 Obviously, yes, we're probably going to sell. 62 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,898 Yeah. 63 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,651 - He thinks I'm a little impulsive. - Ah, just a smidge. 64 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,338 Well, there are a limited number of buyers for a property this size, right? 65 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,839 So, you have your bed and breakfast operators... 66 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,782 [Gasps] What if we opened a bed and breakfast? 67 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,968 - —[Laughs] Here we go. - Aren't you sick of the city? 68 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,328 - No. - We work insane hours to live in a shoebox 69 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,039 that we can barely afford, and somebody's offering us a mansion. 70 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:47,000 Sam, we don't know the first thing about running a b and b. 71 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,853 You're a chef. That's, like, half of the bs right there. 72 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,879 Plus, I can write freelance articles from anywhere, 73 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,774 so we have income while we're getting up and running. 74 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,158 That is an annoyingly strong argument, you have to admit it. 75 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,636 Okay, let's do this. 76 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,389 We haven't seen the place, so we'll go up there for the weekend, 77 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,432 - —and then we'll talk about it. - Yes! Thank you. 78 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,142 - It is a really nice place. - It is. 79 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,061 And it's ours, for free. 80 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,397 There's gotta be something wrong with it. 81 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,148 Babe, it's so charming. 82 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:13,443 What could possibly be wrong with it? 83 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,696 [Theme music playing] 84 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,662 Okay, so, it's the summer of '98. 85 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,556 My lehman brothers boys and I, we scooped a copter 86 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,416 to beat the traffic out to the Hamptons, 87 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:28,542 'cause that's how we roll. 88 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:32,254 Anyway, we're on a list for this very exclusive shindig 89 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,714 at surf lodge in montauk. 90 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:34,923 Tara Reid's birthday. 91 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,259 - 'Nuff said. So... - Yeah, but, 92 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,385 who is Tara Reid? 93 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,011 Seriously? She was a movie star. 94 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,447 Oh. Silent or talkies, sweetheart? 95 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,639 Uh, what is a movie again? 96 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,392 It's the... it's the play that they project on a screen. 97 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,518 We've been through this. 98 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,604 - [Isaac] When you say "project"... - What is "play?" 99 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,023 God, I hate being the most recently dead. 100 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,651 Anyway, yada yada yada, it was a great night. The end. 101 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,278 Okay. 102 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,571 [Weak applause] 103 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:01,032 Okay, well, thank you, Trevor, for that talk of the day on partying. 104 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:04,369 No, it was very high-level partying. You don't get it, so, you know, whatever. 105 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,830 All right, well, tomorrow, of course, is food club, 106 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,750 when Thor will be explaining the subtle differences 107 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,251 between types of COD. 108 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:14,337 It will be similar to salmon lecture, but more COD focused. 109 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,839 Ooh. 110 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,176 Oh! Oh! It's one of those... How you say... it's a ship on land. 111 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,970 Landship! Landship! 112 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,638 It's not a iandship, you nincompoop. 113 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,098 That's a horseless carriage. 114 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,808 Bro, check out that body. 115 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,436 Slammin'. 116 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,856 Indeed. He'd have made a fine militiaman. 117 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,983 Holy crap. 118 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,778 Beats the hell out of our fifth-floor walkup, huh? 119 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,196 Okay. Yeah, it's impressive, 120 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,959 but can you reach the fridge from your bed? 121 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,575 - I think not. - This air is so clean. 122 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,094 And that guy at the gas station in town. 123 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,453 - What was his name, Carl? - Yeah. 124 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,829 Yeah. He was folksy, right? 125 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,432 I mean, he did call me a woman for wearing 126 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,500 a video game shirt, which doesn't make any sense, 127 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,752 but, yeah, Carl had a certain charm. 128 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,128 [Isaac] They're coming in. 129 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,464 - Let's go. - Whoa! 130 00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,759 Ah, geez, not again. 131 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:01,843 Wait! 132 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,888 [Exhales] Wow. 133 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,723 Okay, this is huge. 134 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,476 And it's all ours. 135 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,812 I got to admit, it would be nice 136 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,313 to have a little bit of space. 137 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,441 Exactly. New York is full of people. 138 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,861 We're never alone. 139 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,238 This must be them. 140 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,281 The new folks that own the house. 141 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,450 Can you believe this place has been in my family 142 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:26,910 for six generations? 143 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,495 She's a relative of yours, Hetty. 144 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,622 Well, I should hope not, with her exposed knees 145 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,582 and that saucy hairdo. 146 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,959 Wow. 147 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,395 At least it's just the two of them. There's still plenty of room for us. 148 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,129 Yes. Yes. Two people is manageable. 149 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,214 Limited commotion. 150 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:42,008 No old lady bedridden while disease eats away at her, 151 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,178 but we knew those good times couldn't last forever. 152 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,490 [Pete] You know, a young couple could be really fun to watch. 153 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,558 - Oh, hell yeah, they would. - Okay, Trevor. 154 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:53,061 Before I forget... 155 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,455 - What is that? - [Jay] Whoa, whoa. 156 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,832 - What are you doing? - This is sage. 157 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,899 - I'm cleansing the space. - [Jay] Oh, come on. 158 00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,402 Babe, this is old house 101. 159 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,904 You light this stuff, and it wards off evil spirits. 160 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,048 - [All gasp] - What did she say? 161 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,908 - Does that work? - Do you really believe in that? 162 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,743 Better safe than sorry. 163 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,787 - [Sniffs] It's actually delightful. - [Hetty] Oh. 164 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,706 - Yeah, it's divine. - Oh, lemme hit that. 165 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,475 -[Hetty] I would enjoy an -is that sage or is that her? 166 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,602 - Reminds me of torched village. - Okay, people, people. 167 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,296 There is enough spirit repellant for all of us. 168 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,381 Jay, we have a library. 169 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:25,594 This place is, like... old school rich. 170 00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:28,054 I know. I did a little research. 171 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,764 Apparently, my ancestors who lived here 172 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,433 were actual robber barons. 173 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,603 Like, cartoon evil, slept-on-a—bed-of-gold types. 174 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,188 I mean, we did that once. 175 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,941 Okay, they actually seem really nice. 176 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,825 They remind me of this couple I was married to 177 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,111 when I was on the commune. 178 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,881 And a little of this couple I was married to 179 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,364 when I was in the cult. 180 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:50,035 Honestly, it's, like, way more beat up than in any of the pictures. 181 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,036 Excuse me? 182 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,038 It could use a little tlc, but we can fix it up. 183 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,582 Boy, she is really "can do." 184 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,334 I am rooting for these kids. 185 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,002 I cannot help it. 186 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,295 I'm telling you, babe, 187 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:03,340 this place is going to make an amazing hotel. 188 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,507 [Ghosts gasp] 189 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:05,926 What is "hotel"? 190 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,802 I'll tell you what a hotel is. 191 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,888 A hotel is our worst nightmare. 192 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,682 Every room in this house filled with people 193 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,685 coming and going. 194 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,687 Sleeping in our beds... 195 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,898 Libertines! 196 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,983 And you don't even want to know about the clutter, 197 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,486 thorfinn, my fastidious viking friend. Ooh! 198 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,447 [Indistinct chatter] 199 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,574 Why? Why? 200 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:33,161 Trash can right there. [Grunts] 201 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,289 No! 202 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,083 [Shudders] I hate getting walked through. 203 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,001 It's probably the worst pain I can think of. 204 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,629 No, wait, arrow through the neck. That beats it. 205 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,173 Okay, new plan. 206 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,383 Kill them! 207 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,676 Uh, we can't kill them. 208 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,969 Yeah, that's not nice. 209 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,720 No, I mean we don't have the ability. 210 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,847 Can't pick up a gun, can't put their feet in cement 211 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,642 and drop them off a country bridge. [Chuckles] 212 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,895 I went with a bootlegger for a spell. You hear things. 213 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,414 Plus, even if we could physically grapple them, 214 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,857 that husband fellow would overpower us. 215 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,401 I mean, have you seen his shoulders 216 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,444 and that v-shaped back? 217 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,492 In summary, we must do something. 218 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,328 Wait, what... why don't we just try... 219 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,788 Haunfing? 220 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,957 We scare them away. We're ghosts! 221 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,625 - Ooh. - [Flower] Whoa! 222 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:21,918 Yeah! It's a good plan, right? 223 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,046 Oh, no, sorry, I was just seeing some major trails. 224 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,506 What are we talking about? 225 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,842 This plan of Trevor's fills me with discomfort. 226 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:32,178 The line between the living and ourselves is one we should respect. 227 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,265 - Who are we to... [cries out] - —[Ghosts groaning] 228 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,975 Found my jacket! 229 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,101 [All clamoring] 230 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,228 -[Cries out] —[Ghosts exclaim] 231 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,147 [Panting] 232 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,983 All right, let's haunt these bastards out of here. 233 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,985 [Cheenng] 234 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,325 [Jay] Hey, boo-boo. 235 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,454 - The water from the tap was disgusting. - Oh. 236 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,956 So, I went to the gas station and I got us some coffee. 237 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,666 - Aw, thank you. - Yeah. Carl says hi, 238 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,294 and he called me a snowflake for wearing flip-flops. 239 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,795 - Classic Carl. - Yeah. 240 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,841 Okay, gun to your head: Canary yellow or lavender mist? 241 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,260 Oh, okay, we're putting up paint. Nice. 242 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:15,221 Haven't decided if we're staying but we're putting up paint. 243 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,615 You know what? I-I think we should just 244 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,359 knock the whole wall down while we're at it. 245 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,268 Do you think it's load-bearing? 246 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,520 What? What is this? What are you doing? 247 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,606 Do you even know what sound you're listening for? 248 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,900 Not sure, but it makes me feel like Joanna gaines, 249 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,193 and I'm not mad at that. 250 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,695 - Ooh. - Wanna come be my chip, big boy? 251 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,363 Um, yes please. 252 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:35,909 Wait a minute, why do we only role-play couples from hgtv? 253 00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,912 - Please don't kink shame me. - [Bird cooing] 254 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,039 [Jay] Oh, it's adorable. There's a bird in our room, 255 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,916 because of course there is. 256 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,794 Okay, you're right, this place needs a little bit of work. 257 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,671 - —Here he comes! - Hit the deck! 258 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,053 Now, let's take inventory of the skills at our disposal. 259 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,180 Thor, as we all know, is able to do that thing 260 00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,016 with the electrics because he was struck by lightning. 261 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,184 [Straining] 262 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,436 [Electricity crackling] 263 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,231 [Cheers and applause] 264 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,857 I am powerful. 265 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,168 Oh, Isaac, what about your thing? 266 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,568 - Yes, yes, yes. - Oh, yes. 267 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,213 No, I don't know to what it is you refer. Okay... 268 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,446 You died of dysentery. 269 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,716 Yeah, it smells like a fart when the living walk through you. 270 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,242 - —[Laughter] - It's nasty. 271 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,203 - You stink, you stink. - [Fake laughs] Okay. 272 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,247 I get it. We all get it. 273 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,958 And trust me, you don't need to be so harsh in your condemnations. 274 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,168 It is far worse for me than it is for thee. 275 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,586 Okay, moving on. What else? 276 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,171 Well, I was thinking since alberta 277 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,133 was a singer in life and can project her humming 278 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,276 into the world of the living, 279 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,511 what if we had her hum the song 280 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,388 from the movie ghost to scare them? 281 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,181 Huh? Kinda thematic, right? 282 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,826 You know we don't know what that is, Pete. 283 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,393 Oh, right, the movie thing. 284 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,853 Welcome to my hell. 285 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,080 You guys would actually love it. 286 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,898 There was this amazing scene where the main girl was making pottery... 287 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,316 We don't have time for this. 288 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,360 And then this hunky, shirtless guy comes in. 289 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,528 Well, we do have some time. 290 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,155 The haunting isn't imminent. Go on. 291 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,282 It's fine. I get it. I'll hum something scary. 292 00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,368 Oh, Trevor has to do his amazing thing. 293 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:01,786 That must be the topper. 294 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,454 - [All talking at once] - Yeah. Do it! 295 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,707 You're very kind. 296 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,667 [Alberta] Come on, trev. 297 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,526 - Oh, sorry, hold on, it's just... - You got it, you got it. 298 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,427 - [Hetty] Focus, focus. - You got it. 299 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,931 [Straining] 300 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,813 [Cheenng] 301 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,690 - Yo, t-money did it! - Scary! 302 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,984 Oh, it's good! 303 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,819 Troops, I believe we are ready. 304 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:38,406 Tonight, get your sleep, for tomorrow we strike! 305 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,824 - [Cheering] - Yes! 306 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,451 [Chokes] 307 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,165 [Pained shouting] 308 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,833 The hot water's not working! 309 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,294 Okay, people, he's coming out. Man your posts. 310 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:55,089 Good luck, everybody. And have fun! 311 00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,301 The hot water's out again. 312 00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,719 [Samantha] One second! 313 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,721 And... go, Thor! 314 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,972 [Straining] 315 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,682 What the... 316 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,309 Come on. 317 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,894 [Straining] 318 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,063 [Shouts, groans] 319 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,314 [Jay] Ah. 320 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,899 Man down! Alberta, you're up. 321 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,108 Trevor, you're on deck. 322 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,794 You know, it kinda feels like I'm opening for Trevor. 323 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,529 Now, I don't need to headline this haunting, but... 324 00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,115 - Not now! - Ugh, okay. Fine. 325 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,493 [Humming] 326 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,827 [Humming] 327 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,264 - [Pop music drowns out humming] - I got the stereo working. 328 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,665 - Cool. - Go on. 329 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,208 [Whimpers] 330 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,418 [Gagging] 331 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:35,171 - [{snfifing] - Ugh, babe. 332 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,673 Nice try, that was you. 333 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,924 Are you on a juice cleanse? 334 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,343 Close it out, Trevor. You're our only hope. 335 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,280 Okay, you can't blame the other person when there's only one other person. 336 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,389 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 337 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,015 [Crying out] 338 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,976 You know I couldn't produce that if I tried. 339 00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,227 - [Crying out] - Come on, man! 340 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,520 Bring the fortitude. 341 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,604 That is disgusting. 342 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,856 - Oh, come on, you gaslighter. - [Trevor straining] 343 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,442 [Jay] You got a cute butt, but it's got a foul mouth. 344 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:59,112 [Panting] 345 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,864 Huh. Haunting is hard. 346 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,032 Ooh, that is rank. 347 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,410 - Shut up. - All right. 348 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,309 [Samantha] Babe? What are you doing? 349 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,874 [Jay] I'm gonna fix the water heater. It's probably just the gas, right? 350 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,918 This has got to be simple, just turn the pilot on? 351 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,045 [Samantha] This place is so creepy. 352 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,840 Much better. 353 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,717 - [Ghost] Who are these guys? - I don't know. 354 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,427 Jay, that looks kinda ancient. 355 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,387 Maybe we should just call a professional. 356 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,682 No, no. We're not dumping a bunch of money into this house. 357 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,892 Plus, I want to take a shower now. 358 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,519 Counterclockwise. 359 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,622 Okay, it's just I don't think you know what you're doing. 360 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,856 - —[Loud squeak] - Uh-oh. 361 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,459 - That's not good. - That should do it. 362 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,876 - That won't do it. - Think I got it. 363 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,402 He didn't. 364 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,238 At least they left the light on. 365 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,532 Oh. [Chuckles] 366 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:45,695 - —[Ghosts groan] - Damn it. 367 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,702 [Straining] 368 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,037 - Trevor? - God. 369 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,806 What-what are you doing? The livings aren't even here. 370 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,166 No, I know, I know. This isn't for them. 371 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,209 This is between t-money and the vahse. 372 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,045 It's personal. 373 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,212 I've always said vayse. 374 00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:01,007 - Can you please... - Sorry. 375 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,055 Still freezing. 376 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,556 Okay, well, the good news is 377 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,409 we're going back to New York this afternoon anyway, 378 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,143 so we can just fix it when we come back. 379 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,020 You mean if we come back. 380 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,023 Okay, we're having this conversation. 381 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,942 Sam, um... 382 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,903 I'm just gonna come out and say it, okay? 383 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,364 [Mutters unintelligibly] 384 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,407 - Pardon? - —[Mutters unintelligibly] 385 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:29,035 - I didn't hear you. - I don't want to move here. 386 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,662 - —[Ghosts gasp] - Well, this just got interesting. 387 00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:32,830 Very interesting. 388 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:36,376 Like finding new type of COD interesting. 389 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,794 - [Straining] - Come on. 390 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,463 - Okay, a little too close. - Sure. Okay. 391 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:44,902 Oh, that was... that was gonna be it. 392 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,528 - —That was gonna be it. Really. - I know. I felt that. 393 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:47,720 That was so close. 394 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,680 I came up here with an open mind, for sure, 395 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,766 but this whole bed and breakfast idea... 396 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,434 I mean, come on. 397 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,228 Do we really want to leave New York? 398 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,398 Jay, I love you, but you know that you get a bit scared of change. 399 00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,401 But it's okay to try something different. 400 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,462 Yes, I agree and I'm willing to try something different... 401 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,196 - Yes. - Below 14th street. 402 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,865 [Laughs] He's cute... funny! 403 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:11,619 I don't know what it is but i-i feel a connection to this place. 404 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,038 I could see a future here, us raising a family. 405 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:17,875 I want all that, babe, but we're in way over our heads. 406 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,210 This place is falling apart. 407 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,628 It is kind of a dump. 408 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:21,712 Oh, shut up. 409 00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:24,132 [Straining] 410 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:27,176 [Laughing, cheering] 411 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,761 We did it! 412 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,263 [Laughing] 413 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,932 So, that's it? We just do what you want? 414 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,143 If we're both gonna be making some big crazy move... 415 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,620 - Mm-hmm. - Then-then we should at least 416 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,354 - —both be able to agree on it. - Fine! 417 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,647 But you know what, Jay? 418 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,483 Sometimes you gotta just do something a little bold, ya know? 419 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,068 Put some canary yellow up 420 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,320 and get out of your neutral-palette mind-set. 421 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,798 What? What are you... what was that? 422 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,240 Neutrals go with everything. 423 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,260 Haven't you learned anything from love it or list it? 424 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,137 Well, I don't know what any of those words mean, 425 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,163 but I know that he won't be laying with her 426 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:58,040 for several moons! [Laughs] 427 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,543 That was amazing. You're incredible. 428 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,921 Whoa, whoa, watch out! 429 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,339 [Gasps] 430 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,009 [Grunting] 431 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,432 - Bro, that's not good. - [Jay] Sam? 432 00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:16,684 Oh, my god. Oh, my god, Sam, hey! 433 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:20,229 [Audio distorted] Sam. Sam! Oh, my god. Sam! 434 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,315 [Jay's voice fades] 435 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,450 Murderer. 436 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,743 Okay, again, 437 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,204 I didn't mean for her to trip and fall. 438 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,331 You have to believe me, I would never intentionally 439 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,665 hurt anyone that hot. 440 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:43,711 [Groans] Aw, husband guy looks so sad. 441 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:47,381 I remember when I died. Ira looked so scared. 442 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,717 Because he didn't want to lose me. 443 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,637 And also because he was trying to get away from the bear. 444 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,555 Could you imagine if she doesn't make it? 445 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,225 What a terrible last memory for him. 446 00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,060 Ending things in an argument. 447 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:02,063 Carol and I argued the last time we spoke. 448 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,898 It's funny, it felt like such a big deal 449 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,275 at the time, and now I... Can't even tell you 450 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,944 what it was we were arguing about. 451 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,925 [Pete] You never think, when you close that door behind you, 452 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,368 that that'll be the last time you walk through that door. 453 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,414 But then I had my accident, and I realized 454 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,959 I'm never gonna see my wife again. 455 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,424 I'm never gonna get to speak to her, to hold her, 456 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:34,303 to tell her how much I love her. 457 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:38,266 Oh, wait! I remember what we were fighting about. 458 00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,934 She ate all the donut holes, 459 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,644 and she doesn't even like donut holes. 460 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,230 It was just to spite me. Which was just like her, 461 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,982 that selfish so-and-so. 462 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,942 -[Gasps] —pete. 463 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,072 Uh, the point is 464 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,991 life is precious. 465 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,493 What is donut hole? 466 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,454 It's just a round donut... 467 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,415 It's what's miss... it doesn't matter. 468 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,339 It's a tough loss. 469 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,133 [Toilet flushes] 470 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,843 What's wrong? 471 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,179 The Knicks blew a ten-point lead to the nuggets. Damn it. 472 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,699 Well, I hope you were at least this upset 473 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,523 when I was technically dead for three minutes. 474 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,435 Let's get you home. 475 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,687 - Go slow. - Okay. 476 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,607 [Alberta] J“ home awaiting j“ 477 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,317 j“ in the sky j“ 478 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:34,488 j“ oh, in the sky j“ 479 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:35,990 thank you, alberta. 480 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,968 I don't know how many times we've heard that song. 481 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,620 - 487. - But it gets better every time. 482 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,538 Landship! Landship! 483 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,248 [Flower] The livings, man! They're back. 484 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:48,210 [Gasps] Oh, she's alive. 485 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,837 Oh, thank god. 486 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,340 Wait, is there any scarring? How's the pun/m? 487 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,677 I thought we were going home. 488 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,405 Yeah, I just wanted to swing by the house real quick 489 00:18:58,429 --> 00:18:59,722 and show you something. 490 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,766 So, while you were sleeping for two weeks—- 491 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,185 - coma. - Coma. I had a contractor come in 492 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,330 just to give us an estimate on what needs to be done. 493 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:07,730 And guess what. It's way more 494 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,190 than I could have ever imagined. 495 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,275 It's like a new foundation, it's new floors... 496 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,819 Jay, it's fine. You know, I'm okay with selling the place. 497 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,030 I had some time to think, and you were right. 498 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:19,075 I think the whole bed and breakfast idea was probably crazy. 499 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,119 Well, then, call me crazy, 'cause we're doing it. 500 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,373 [Man] Hey, Mikey, how you doing? 501 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,458 What's going on? 502 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,709 That's the contractor. 503 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,979 If we're gonna make a go of this, we're gonna need some help. 504 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,939 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 505 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,841 - We're staying? - We're doubling down, baby! 506 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,260 I maxed out the credit cards, I cashed in the ira, 507 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,554 despite the very vocal objections of my father. 508 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,098 News flash: We're deeply in debt. 509 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,558 If this bed and breakfast fails, we're really screwed. 510 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,519 I don't understand. What happened? 511 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,355 Almost losing you made me realize that I don't care 512 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,441 where we live, because as long as I'm with you, 513 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,110 I'm home. 514 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,405 Was it corny? Did it sound corny? 515 00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,989 I'm not gonna lie, I practiced it. 516 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,950 It was so corny. 517 00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,661 Show me the house! 518 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,162 Aw, they made up. 519 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,540 I'm very glad Samantha is okay. 520 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,333 Me, too. Wait. 521 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,002 Who are these other people? 522 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,588 [Flower] It looks like a construction crew. 523 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,675 O'Malley. 524 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,478 [Man] Electricians, check the main panel. Look out for loose wirings. 525 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,762 Roofers, be careful up there. 526 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,765 Harness required, and make sure you know where you're dropping the tiles. 527 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,100 Man 3: On it! 528 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:29,729 Oh, you're dressed kind of nice for a construction worker. 529 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,647 [Jay] Hey. Hey, babe. 530 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,941 Come with me, there's one more thing I want to show you. 531 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,068 -Oh. —got a surprise. 532 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,570 Come on. Hey, hey, easy. 533 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,238 So that's it, then. 534 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,074 They're going through with this hotel situation. 535 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,785 - We'll be overrun. - The clutter! 536 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,996 Okay, yes, the hotel will be a nightmare, 537 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,957 but gosh darn it, I did miss those crazy kids. 538 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,543 She talked to me! She talked to me! She talked to me. 539 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,795 And I think she kinda hit on me, I'm not entirely sure, 540 00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:56,106 but there was definitely a spark. 541 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,506 But she talked to me! 542 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,966 Good god. 543 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,385 [Pete] Please, lower your hands. 544 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:04,388 And... baa-dow. 545 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,307 Uh-uh, what is that? 546 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,309 That is the canary yellow you wanted. 547 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,770 - You painted the room. - I know, I know. 548 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:14,815 You know, I wasn't sure about it at first, but it's growing on me. 549 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:16,543 - What the hell? - Yeah, yeah, you're right. 550 00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:18,819 It's a lot of yellow. Oh, you know what we could do? 551 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,071 We could put up a muted accent wall. 552 00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,823 This can't be real. 553 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,700 Okay, you're not loving it. 554 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,160 It's no big deal. It's just paint. 555 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,745 Oh, my god. 556 00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:29,121 What are you looking at? 557 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,208 - I think you're right. She can see us. - Uh-huh. 558 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,291 Who are you? 559 00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:34,919 Uh, hi, I'm Jay, I'm your husband. 560 00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:37,505 - Do you need to lie down? - I can explain. 561 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:40,174 We are ghosts, those poor spirits 562 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,468 who dwell on, compelled for reasons unknown to... 563 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,303 [Screams]